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Mouthing Off

Mouthing Off

I always have some "Great Idea" cooking. Let's see what it is now ...

Young Munsters I: When Herman Met Lily
(idea/rant #041007)
This is to officially internationally publish my concept for a millions-earning film concept,
in which the Wide Screen prequels the Munsters TV series with a (hopefully) series of its own,

The cast, as I see it, so far:

Ben Stiller:
Rose MacGowan:
Lynda Carter:
Edward Herrmann!:
Corey Feldman:

Young Herman
Young Lily
Lily's Mother
Herman's Dad
Younger Grandpa

and if Frankie Muntz wasn't outgrowing the role, he'd get Eddie.

If anyone wants to steal this idea and make a fortune, I want half the profit.
Thus stated on this day, April 10, 2007, by Thomas Eric Hofer


Bald Britney
(idea/rant #021807)
So Britney Spears shaved her head. What's the big deal? Bald is beautiful - and I should know.
Maybe the reality and weight of the fact that she's constantly in the public eye is getting a bit much for her.
I can imagine. My advice to her: Hide out here at my apartment for as long as you want.
No strings, no obligations, but no celeb guests, either.
We can chill, have some wine, we can chat about whatever you want to get off your chest ...
But what would be great is if we collaborated on a new, hard-rock album.
Britney, it's time for your Alannis Morrisette Makeover.
Discard the teenie-candy pop crap and do the loud grungy stuff you're dying to do.
When your hair grows back (and trust me - you don't need it: you're cute enough without it)
you can shape it into a mohawk and be this generation's Wendy O Williams with better pipes and songs.
Let it out, baby. Just let it out. Now ... how do I get you to call me?
We can go out for pizza at Jacopos in the Palisades ...

The Pogues and the "Gilligan's Island" Theme
(idea/rant #123006)
Need I say more? They'd do an swesome version of it, and it would be a HUGE hit in the States.

Lightning Strikes - Not Once but Thousands of Times
(idea/rant #122306)
Has anyone ever done a study on the relationship of lightning storms to subsequent earthquakes?
I'm sure there are records of where and when lightning strikes the earth with some strength -
but what happens to the electricity once the earth absorbs it? Or does it absorb it?
Or does it simply bounce around inside the earth until it bounces up against another former lightning strike
and the impact causes an earthquake at the closest weak point in the earth?

Burton & Geppetto = A Hit
(idea/rant #062306)
I'm gonna say it now so we can all look back at it years from now and laugh:
Tim Burton ought to direct a live-action version of Pinocchio.
OK - so Roberto Benigni did one four years ago. Do you remember it? Didn't think so.
I don't know if Johnny Depp would make any sense in the role, but Burton is definitely right for the directing job.
Adam Sandler?No! Rick Moranis? Maybe a bit long in the tooth. Make him Jiminy Cricket instead.
For Pinoke, it'll probably be Haley Joel Osment
Kelsey Grammar as the Fox
And with Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise nowhere near it.

(idea/rant #052706)
I recently noticed a remark on the Leaving Trains website stating that the 2005 reunion
lineup (read: my brother Manfred and I) was stressful and limiting to work with. I can see how that would indeed be the case if you are James and still harbor a lot of pent up frustration (much of it completely petty, some of it not so) that you never bothered to clear up with the involved parties over the last 25 plus years. And I can honestly say that, now it's all over, that there was rarely a time when James entered a room where I did not feel an immediate and drastic downshift in mood and enthusiasm. So, yes, I also found it stressful. Double standards also do that to me (and that's not a nonsequitur). Usually I told myself I was imagining the atmospheric change -- that it was simply my own memories returning of 25 years ago when he and I had a rather strained relationship due to his insecurities about his musical abilities vs.my own, whereas I was often the smartass naif on the receiving end of his sharp debating skills.

Suffice it to say the Leaving Trains website is accurate in its assessment of the 2005 reunion, but simply note how often statements are made in generality - the finger can point as easily in one direction as the opposite. I don't think that's unintentional.

(idea/rant #020706)
When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get God. Or not.

(idea/rant #110404)

Americans once again voted George W. Bush into office.
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume Midwest attendance of Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/1" was low, if not non-existent.
What bothers me most about this election is that exit polls indicated that "moral values" played a big part in folks' voting decisions. Then why did the majority of Americans re-elect a man who lied to the nation (and to the world, for that matter) about the (non) existence of WMDs in Iraq? A man whose family has close business ties to the Bin Laden
family? A man whose brother manipulated voting eligibility records in Florida in 2000 to ensure George's victory in that state? A man who sat an extra seven minutes in kindergarten (or whatever) rather than take immediate action in response to a more catastrophic foreign attack on American soil than the attack on Pearl Harbor?

Consider this: The Bushes and the Bin Ladins are business partners. Osama is the black sheep of the family. Want to get attention from your parents? Break the good china. Scratch the car. Trample the rose bushes. Kill tens of thousands of Americans. Oops. My bad. You can't hurt me, though - If you kill me, it'll ruin your relationship with my family. Am I the only one who saw Dubya saying "Osama Bin Ladin is a non-issue" at the height of the war on terrorism?

Let me go out on another limb here: September 11 would not have happened with Al Gore in the White House.

It makes me ashamed to be a "Christian." What's so moral about a coward who hides behind the (arguably) best personal security force in the world and baits terrorists to "bring it on"? Why re-elect a man who refuses to accept responsibility for the muddle he's made in the Iraq War, a war his father (I don't like him, but at least he knew how to cover his ass) realized was the wrong course of action for numerous reasons??

Leadership requires strength, motivation, and responsibility, not stubbornness, fearmongering and finger-pointing.
Hence, in the Enron scandal, government lawyers went after Enron executives, in order to hold the highest employees responsible for that company's corruption. Hence CIA Director George Tenet resigned in the face of scandal - not because he was personally responsible, but because he failed as a Leader. (For those of you who don't recognize these names but watch a lot of reality TV, it's like Raj taking full responsibility for blowing it as project manager on "The Apprentice" this week.)

George Bush, as a "leader," should take responsibility, correct his errant path, admit his mistake, and (best case scenario) step down, but he won't, because he is a failure as a leader; morally, financially and as a participant in global politics. He accused Saddam Hussein of concealing weapons and urged dialogue. When Hussein agreed to talk, Bush snubbed him, urging military action. This war has now claimed over 1000 American lives and has further destabilized Iraq, incensed militant Muslims, estranged us from world leaders and endangered Americans travelling outside the U.S.

For what? To protect Americans? Hardly. Hussein was not a threat to the US, only our oil interests.

If the US went to war simply because Saddam was a tyrant to Iraqis, then why did/does the American military not get involved in other equally hostile territories, such as North Korea? Cuba? China?

If the US went to war simply because Saddam was a perpetrator of genocide or ethnic cleansing, then why didn't the American military not get involved in Bosnia, Rwanda or East Timor? (or World War II a little earlier, ya know)?

Make up your mind, George: Act nobly and for the good of the world. Because Americans have made up their mind, but what a mess they have made. Hey - at least it's not YOUR fault.


Die, Bush, Die!
(idea #110304)
A T-shirt with the words "Visualize World Peace"
with artwork depicting George W. Bush in a coffin.
While I would never kill another human being, I would, in some cases, encourage someone else to.
Then again, too, George W. Bush is not human.

(idea #022604)
Zombie office workers gathering at the formaldehyde cooler.

(idea #022304)
No, that's not a misprint. Chickarones would be like Chicharones (Pork Rinds in Spanish)
but they would be flavored fried Chicken skins.
All the places that serve skinless broiled chicken - what do they do with the skin?
There's got to be a market for this!

Since Los Angeles is the "Televised Car Chase" capitol of the world, giving jackasses everywhere the opportunity to be on TV while driving dangerously, why doesn't the law enforcement community invent a "sticky bug" - an adhesive homing device fired at the chased vehicle which would allow the police to track the vehicle without being right on its tail? Then the perpetrator would probably drive more safely under the false assumption he had eluded the cops.

An additional bonus: the media would not be impelled to broadcast the stupid chases.


Copyright Pungent Records 2007